


The act of trust and the kiss of forgiveness

by bunny093



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Arranged Marriage, Betrayal, Cheating, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Political Alliances, Touch-Starved, and so is kuroo, daishou is older and seduces kuroo but end up in prison, haikyuu teams as kingdoms, karasuno goes to war, naive kuroo, no beta we die like kny characters, yama is the second krsn prince
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26489194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunny093/pseuds/bunny093
Summary: Daichi discovers something and it’s confused.Tetsurou is afraid.Apparently, Tetsurou and Daichi are in love with each other.| or where daichi is the crown prince of karasuno and tetsurou is the bastard of nekoma
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. i trusted you

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this twitter thread](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/684793) by the very same author. 



> english is not my first language so i'm sorry for any mistakes~

Karasuno is one of the last kingdoms made entirely of shapeshifters - the only other one being Fukurodani, where the royal family can transform into owls. Its whole population has this unique ability of shifting to their crow selves, and that’s the most well kept secret they have, no one outside their kingdom borders knows about it and that’s why the doors are always shut for outsiders. They need to protect themselves above everything else and there’s too many kingdoms who, although they forgot about the motives, still kills crows for sport (and some are Karasuno crows).

But, although they are self isolated, they still hold good relationships with neighboring kingdoms in the north, where they are, and some from the west too (where Fukurodani is - and if it wasn’t for the distance, they would be sibling kingdoms).

The fact that they are crows is something well kept even between themselves, between the Karasuno people. They all know about it, yes, but to show to others your crow form is the ultimate trust card they can possibly give.

Some say it’s a love confession. If they shift in front of you, you are trusted  _ and _ loved.

Their throne is different too - it isn’t hereditary like the others, like it’s common, one family can’t keep the throne or the power, no. Their heirs are chosen by the gods and when they’re born everybody just knows who they are, who they are supposed to be when of age. It also means that today’s ruler doesn’t have much time to rule.

(there’s a saying, if the ruler is too young and an heir is born, a war is coming)

The children are all taught equally, even the heir, there’s no discrimination nor special treatment. Karasuno people are as just as they are strong (in character and in battle). They are also stubborn by nature.

And this is where Daichi came to the world, during one cold winter night, crying loudly in his mother’s strong arms.

The current ruler is young, though, this is only his fourth winter as a king.

There’s a saying…

And, two years later, during a warm autumn day, a new heir is born.

There’s a saying… And there’s fear.

(when there’s two heirs, a great war is coming)

Daichi grows up knowing he’s going to be their king one day and that people have expectations and hopes on him - he wishes he’s as good as people say he is. And when he’s still little, the king takes him with their party on a trip to the west, to visit their allies and to show off the Karasuno heir.

The second heir is kept secret from anyone else outside their borders, much like the shift secret.

Ironically or not, the Fukurodani heir and the bastard prince of Nekoma are both same age of Daichi, so he happily befriends them during the trip and his stay in each kingdom, for the amusement of all adults, the relief of some rulers and the disgust of some royals - there are always so many people in this gatherings and so many negative emotions, that’s why Karasuno don’t go out much, choosing to keep it to themselves and inside their borders.

Koutarou is loud and energetic and they both run through Fukurodani’s castle’s gardens on a “secret” adventure.

Tetsurou is silent and soft, Daichi learns about plants and flowers with him while reading a book, away from the adults.

They both have funny hair.

Daichi trusts Koutarou a lot because they are both shifters so he isn’t afraid to show himself as a crow to him, and he got to see his friend’s owl self too. They fly together, high in the sky above the castle, for the horror of their nannies and parents, who only watch from afar praying they don’t get lost or hurt. They return home safely a few hours later, skins full of scratches and dried mud and wide happy smiles.

Daichi doesn’t trust Tetsurou because he is “normal”.

Although Nekoma people are direct descendants from cat shifters, they long lost the ability to shift and only have some physical characteristics from those days (the eyes, they’re so unique) and some instincts, like how Tetsurou walks so softly he always,  _ always _ , scares Daichi.

Tetsurou isn’t an heir like him and Koutarou, no, he’s only a bastard taken in by his father, the king, and often treated as dirt by the other royals. He only has his older brother, the Crown Prince Kai, and one royal friend who’s as quiet as him, Kenma.

And now he has Daichi too! And Koutarou. He isn’t alone.

They all cry as they say goodbye at the end of the month long trip, not wanting to be apart. But they have to, Daichi needs to go back home with the king, they both have duties (although Daichi’s is school related). Tetsurou feels alone without him, so he writes a letter once a week, happily receiving answers weekly too.

(don’t tell them, but Koutarou is slightly jealous of this because he only receives letters monthly from both of them)

Daichi goes with the king to the west a few more times during the years after, growing up with the other princes and getting angry for being the shortest of the three.

“This is so unfair!” he exclaims loudly, stomping his feet and pouting.

“Of course it’s fair, we don’t have any reason to not be tall!” Koutarou says happily.

“You just need to drink more milk, Daichi.” Tetsurou giggles.

Daichi pouts harder “I’m going to grow up a lot more soon, ok?!”

The tall princes only laugh at this.

They’re teenagers now, they’re in that phase where they aren’t children anymore but not really adults yet, not mature enough and still confused about who they are and what they want. They’re discovering themselves, shaping themselves, changing and growing up - more quickly than non royal kids, because they have to, they have  _ responsibilities _ .

Daichi discovers something and it’s confusing.

Tetsurou is afraid.

Koutarou doesn't seem to mind much nor does he seem to change. He only gets taller and taller.

Apparently, Tetsurou and Daichi are in love with each other.

The king decides it’s time and opens up Karasuno’s gates only for their allies for the four days celebration of summer solstice and openly asks for Tetsurou to come too (after a not so subtle question from his heir).

“He is our heir’s dearest friend, he should come and make him company.” he says in the letter.

And so, Tetsurou goes, riding together with his brother, Kenma and Koutarou in the same heavily guarded carriage, laughing loudly about silly things and playing cards wobbly on the car’s floor. Koutarou is always a nice company, always bright like the sun, and never, never treated Tetsurou like the others did, he was his  _ friend _ . A real, dear friend.

Just like Kenma and his parents, they always treat Tetsurou like he was a normal child, with kindness, never saying anything bad about him, his birth or his status, not making him go out of somewhere because they can’t stand a bastard in the same room as them. His brother Kai too, he treats Tetsurou with the love of a real sibling, teaching him things he thinks Tetsurou needs to know, and saying sharp words to anyone who dares to say something bad about his brother in front of him.

Tetsurou is happy to have friends, and hes is even happier to see Daichi again.

Karasuno prepares themselves to welcome everyone, keeping both eyes on the children so they don’t shift in front of some outsider (although they  _ do _ let the Fukurodani children play with them in their bird forms, always away from prying eyes). The city is agitated, garlands of flowers embellishing the streets and the front of the houses, food and beverage stands in every corner near the central square, bands of musicians and storytellers showing their work for entertainment and with big smiles.

It’s a big party; warm, loud and bright. They all love it.

The Crown Prince of Aoba Johsai was the center of attention for a while, with his loud voice and flamboyant personality, getting under some boy’s skin while at it and entering a spontaneous shouting contest with him in the middle of the main square.

Daichi took Tetsurou’s hand and sneaked away from the party at some point during this first night, some time after the big fire was lit up and Crown Prince Oikawa was screaming something to Crown Prince Ushijima, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone saw them and coming clean. They run silently to the castle’s dark garden, hiding away behind a big willow tree, whispering and confessing, kissing and staring, exchanging soft words of love and promises they wouldn’t know how to keep but they make it anyway because they are young and naïve - they only think they know what love is.

“Please, visit me again, it will be painful to be so far away from you.” Tetsurou asks, pleads, holding Daichi’s hands between his own large ones.

“I can talk to the king, I can ask him. I promise I will be there soon.” Daichi nods with tears in his eyes “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The party wraps up almost gently, and entirely sadly, with a longing sigh. Outsiders says their goodbyes, looking one last time to the lively pretty city behind the thick black gates. Tetsurou doesn’t  _ want _ to go, but he  _ needs _ to, but… He has Daichi’s promise now, to cling on, so maybe… Maybe it’s a little better, maybe it'll be alright.

Crawling silently, slowly, unknowingly - dark days are yet to come to both of them, to all of them, like a stormcloud in the horizon.

Things are weird in Nekoma Kingdom when Tetsurou comes back, people aren't looking at him with disdain or disgust - actually, they’re not looking at him at all, he was being ignored by everyone who hates him. It’s a bittersweet feeling, although he’s happy to live without the weight of their looks, it’s sad to be alone.

And Tetsurou feels so, so alone.

He just wants to go back to his happier days with his friends and his love. Back to that summer festival, to that night escape into the dark garden.

And then - things change one more time in the span of a few months. Drastically, in a way some feel fear for the future - theirs, their children's, their kingdom's (if there is one at all).

Two letters arrive in two different locations, one for Karasuno Kingdom and one for Tetsurou of Nekoma Kingdom, send by different people, but with the same intent - a nasty want to have everything they set their evil eyes upon, the lust for power, the unachievable love.

The intent to  _ conquer _ .

A kingdom from the south, so far away from Karasuno, from the north kingdoms, heard about their open doors celebrations and it is envious of the few who could catch a glimpse of the “forbidden” city, how he so lovely says in his letter, and requests for their own people to also be able to visit beyond the locked gates.

The answer is simple, easy -  _ no _ .

And this, this no, enrages the southern king and the tensions suddenly arise. The Karasuno gates are permanently closed for anyone but their people (some merchants, bards, artists, well-known faces and some important people could enter as they wished to, with the shadows watching their every move) and so, Daichi could no longer visit his friends, he couldn't visit his love, Tetsurou who’s alone in that big cold castle waiting for this week letter, for his approaching visit. He feels guilty, but… What could he do in this situation?

Daichi needs to think about his people above everything as the heir of the throne, as the future king of Karasuno.

He makes a decision together with his friends and the king himself.

The other letter, the one for Tetsurou, is a lot more subtle in its approach. It doesn’t have a name, signed only with a delicate ‘ _ from a friend _ ’, with lines upon lines praising the bastard prince and saying how sad they feel to see how he’s treated. It’s a lot exaggerated, but, somehow, it touches Tetsurou’s heart.

He is, after all, a lonely kid waiting for someone to notice him.

Letters and more letters are delivered for him with the same  _ from a friend _ and soon Tetsurou is enamoured with this person, with these words - with this  _ hope _ . They soon concede to the prince’s want and choose a night to see each other for the first time in the garden behind the castle - the one almost no one goes to, where the moonlight doesn't illuminate quite well.

Tetsurou brings a lamp with him, hood covering his head and making him mingle with the shadows. He waits for long minutes, sitting on the roots of an old oak tree - the place where they said they would be. And then -

And then they’re there.

“Hello. I’m Daishou, it’s really nice to see you up close, prince Tetsurou.”

Daishou was older than Tetsurou, a royal from the Nohebi Kingdom near Nekoma - a nation whom they have friction, a not quite relationship, not necessarily bad but also not good. They talk for hours, meeting every other day in the same spot, staying up until late hours of the night or early hours of the morning, exchanging experiences, wisdom words - a confession.

Tetsurou, the young, lonely, touch and love starved prince. Tetsurou, one of the most influential persons of the nation, whose words were listened to by the two most powerful figures of the Nekoma Kingdom - the king and the Crown Prince. Tetsurou who didn’t know he held this power, but did know he wouldn’t inherit anything from his father but the title of bastard prince.

Tetsurou, the young prince who was seduced by nice words and promises of love.

“Kuro.” Kenma said one morning, never really letting go of his friend’s old family name (his mother’s family name) “What are you doing?”

And really.

What  _ was  _ he doing?

He loved Daichi, very much and very deep. He longed for him everyday, so why… Why did he believe in this person? Tetsurou always thought he had a good head between his shoulders, he knew when people were lying to him, faking a smile. It’s easy to see it when you grow up surrounded by this, by people who dislike you for being you.

But that’s it, isn’t it? If there was one thing he longed the most, it was this. The love and recognition from everyone, anyone, to not be treated as dirt, as the  _ bastard _ he is.

That’s why it was so easy to believe in Daishou’s words.

In Daishou’s manipulation.

If he wasn’t so desperate for love, he wouldn’t be in this situation. He wouldn’t feel as if his heart was ripped from his chest and destroyed right in front of him -  _ because _ of him. The one thing he didn’t want to do, he did it. Because he was weak. Because he was stupid.

He hurted Daichi.

Daichi, whose eyes always shined when he smiled. Daichi with a big, big heart - big enough to fit his entire nation  _ and _ Tetsurou. Daichi, who loved him so much he made a reckless decision.

Daichi, who was there, standing in front of him with tears in his eyes and a heartbroken expression after watching his love kiss someone else - a someone he didn’t know, a someone who smiled almost evilly as he watched him scream.

“Why?!”

Daichi, who ran away from that place, shifting to his crow form in front of Tetsurou’s eyes - and not for the first time, and for a second Tetsurou remembered the happiness he felt when Daichi told him about his secret, about Karasuno’s secret and what him showing himself represents - and flying away, leaving his love behind crying as hard as he felt guilty.

“Daichi!” Tetsurou screamed, throat aching and scratching with the force of it.

His brother came running to him, embracing him and calling his guards to hold Daishou - he heard about this secret relationship only a few minutes prior to this, when Daichi arrived and Kenma came to him with his worries. Crown Prince Kai was notorious for his infinity patience and calm personality, too good at negotiations and diplomacy, but he was also known for being ruthless when his precious little brother was involved.

And he wouldn’t let this go.

Daishou was, for Tetsurou unhappiness, a spy whose mission was to seduce the bastard prince and start a war where Nohebi Kingdom would end up as the winner, conquering the rich and peaceful Nekoma (one of the most powerful nations of the west, only behind Fukurodani Kingdom).

The whispers and the looks were bad, but it was nothing Tetsurou wasn’t used to.

He felt worse when he learned Daichi went there without his king's approval just to surprise him and to make his promise come true while in the middle of what looked like a war approaching. Kenma didn’t waste words when they found each other again in one of the inner gardens, sighing at the end and telling Tetsurou he would help him find a solution if he wanted - because Kenma, recluse, quiet and distasteful of humankind, liked Daichi.

But, as Tetsurou would come to know with time, no words would reach Daichi.

No matter how many letters he would send him, there was never an answer, not even a hateful one. And Tetsurou feels like he’s more alone than he ever was - even before he met Daichi and Koutarou. He’s sad and guilty, and he’s still too young to know what he is doing.

His sorrows are strong, so he drowns it in liquor and parties and blurred faces.

He is sixteen and he feels like nothing.

A war is coming.

And Daichi locks every feeling and memory he has of his love, of Tetsurou, deep inside his heart - for his own protection, so he could focus.

A war is coming and Karasuno is ready. Daichi is ready to die in battle at sixteen.


	2. i long for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “An arranged marriage between me, a bastard, and the heir of Karasuno?” Tetsurou scoffed “This will not be pretty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any typo!

Karasuno is losing the war.

Daichi is tired and bruised, there’s a new scar on his leg from an arrow and his arms are stronger from carrying his sword for so long, killing enemies left and right. He’s taller too, older and mature, wiser even. This was his seventh battle in three months and he lost. Again.

It’s a bitter taste in his tongue.

He tries so hard to not lose anyone in the battlefield, to win against the southern army, but it seems it is not enough. It’s never enough.

Daichi is twenty two years old and he is tired.

Karasuno is losing the war.

The king and his heir, Daichi, are engaged in battles, together with their people, accepting their knowledge in strategies and thinking almost as a group where to attack next, how to protect something. But it’s not enough, it’s never enough. Their numbers are thinning faster than they could have imagined and they need help.

It’s tough, to let go of their pride and ask for help, to accept the fact they are not as strong as they used to be on their own - or maybe, that the enemy is stronger than they are used to fight. So, asking for one of the younger soldiers to go, as a crow, back to the main city and pass the message to the second heir so he could send letters to who he thinks are the best allies at the moment, to strike a treaty with whomever he thought was the best for them.

Tadashi is intelligent, more than both the king and Daichi together, and Karasuno could rely on him.

He sends a letter asking politely for help for Fukurodani - an allie he  _ knows _ would come as soon as possible because they are  _ siblings _ , they are the  _ last _ of their kind and they  _ need _ to protect one another - and soon one of their owls comes back with an affirmative answer from Koutarou himself (their newest young king). Tadashi also sends a letter to Date Kingdom, one of their new-found allies, and Aoba Johsai (with their recently crowned king Tooru) and also receives positive answers.

For last, he asks for Nekoma’s help.

He receives a no.

A  _ no _ .

“What should I do?” Tadashi is frustrated, scared “Should I write a letter back asking why?”

“Yes.” was the answer from his friends, the youngsters, all born in the same year, who were left behind to protect their castle and their main city, where almost all the kingdom’s population were at the moment, running away from the war and their cruel enemy - saving their lives and the next generation.

Tadashi sends the letter, using pretty words to mask his desperation, and they answer.

It’s been too long since the Nekoma Kingdom engaged in battle, they’ve only known peace for a few generations and Karasuno have so many allies, they don’t really need their help. Their people  _ don’t _ want to go to war, they want to stay and protect their own borders - they simply don’t have enough reason to.

And it’s funny how that small sentence, at the end of the letter with so much flourish anyone else would fail to notice the only hope they could grasp.

Nekoma needs a stronger motive than simple allies or friends.

They need a new plan.

“What if you could join the kingdoms by marriage…?” asks Kei as if it was nothing, during their daily afternoon meeting (that was more an afternoon tea with Shouyou and Yachi cooking too much for only five people).

“Marriage? With who? We have Tadashi and Daichi, but I don’t think they have any princesses at Nekoma.” Shouyou says with a confused expression.

“Daichi and that bastard prince were intimate before, I think…?” Yachi complements.

“They fought years ago and Daichi doesn’t even want to  _ hear _ his name.” Kei says, rolling his eyes.

Tadashi sighs “You are all right, but… I think Kei is right about the marriage. And I think we have to use their past relationship for this, even if neither of them will be happy to hear.”

Silence. Every one of his companions were staring at him.

“...How will you convince them to let Daichi and that prince to marry?” Kei sounded worried for the first time since they started the conversation.

“Daichi don’t need to have heirs, our throne is by right and not by birth.” Tobio says distractly, eating a cake and reading a map “And we all know about their relationship and he  _ is _ a bastard.”

“And his brother is nice, so we can ask him for help too!” Shouyou’s optimism was always bright, making Tadashi smile.

“Taking account that their throne is by birth and they don’t want a bastard to get into line for his right for the throne… You are right. We can use this, but I need to ask the king first of all.” he sighed “Even if he gave me the order to use his name in the letters.”

This letter is easier to write and send, explaining every little detail about this plan, the how’s and why’s, so his king wouldn’t be confused and they could get their heir’s positive answer. There was this silent concern that Daichi wouldn’t accept so when they had his yes, a big collective relieved sigh could be heard from the king’s study.

Even if said yes was a little more rude than normal from the always polite prince.

Now, it was time to start the conversations with Nekoma, starting with Tadashi secretly sending a letter to Crown Prince Kai stating what they want and why they want it and how they could get it - much similar to the letter sent to Karasuno's king, but much more polite.

“‘I think it is a good plan and I will help you. May they find happiness again in each other.’ Is what he says in the letter. Tadashi, your plan is so good!” Shouyou explains after reading the letter out loud for everyone.

When Tetsurou heard about this arrangement, he was surprised. It was only him and his brother eating breakfast in the small garden on the second floor veranda where the king’s personal wing was - and only the immediate family could enjoy it - when Kai broke the news for him with an air of indifference as if he was talking about the star shaped cloud passing by the castle.

“An arranged marriage between  _ me _ , a bastard, and the heir of Karasuno?” Tetsurou scoffed.

“A bastard  _ prince _ , may I say.” Kai laughed softly “You  _ are _ important for us, you are the son of our king and very loved by our people, or do you think we don’t know about your escapes to the city center since you were young? Ah… back when you and Daichi were no longer on speaking terms, you were very, how do I say this? Rebellious. It was amusing to watch.”

Tetsurou groaned out loud, burying his face on his hands.

“Daichi doesn’t even want to see my face, why would he agree to marry me?”

Kai sipped on his warm tea, the smile never leaving his handsome face “He needs all the help he can and Nekoma offered only one term to it, to make a strong bond between our kingdoms so our people will consent to our army going out to a war that isn’t ours to begin with. They’ll use your cold romance to change their minds.”

“Cold romance…” Tetsurou laughed without an ounce of humor in his voice “Father knows?”

“Of course he knows. But, they went through me first so I could prepare the soil for them. For your information, dear little brother, father already said yes in your place.”

“Already said  _ yes _ ?! Unbelievable. The only time where my opinion is important enough to make a decision, father decides to completely ignore my existence so he could do what’s best for everyone as he always says.” he sighed at the end, tired “This will not be pretty.”

“It won’t, but they are at war and this is their last resource. We are riding together with Koutarou in a month, after the wedding.”

Tetsurou looked at the food in front of him and could only feel nauseous. It was a pity, the castle’s cooks were always making very good food for the royalty and the princes loved to eat.

“ _ When _ is the wedding?”

“The day prior to our departure. In the square in front of the castle’s gates. You both should look like you are still in love with each other.”

Another tired sigh. Not even the best tea could save Tetsurou’s stomach today.

One month… 

“Although…” Kai started, looking directly into his brother’s desperate eyes, putting down his own cup for a moment, the perfect picture of calm and composure, the complete opposite of his brother who were nervously drumming his fingers on the round garden table “It won’t be difficult for you, brother, if I’m not mistaken you are still very much in love with our dear Daichi.”

“...I am.” Tetsurou laughed again, turning to his side and looking at the forest in the distance, the breeze playing with his hair “I am and he is not.” he nodded, picking up his dicarted cup and drinking all of its content in one big gulp before continuing “I’ll marry Daichi, I’ll help them win this war, but I can not promise you, brother, that we will be happy together. The time for this has passed and I missed my chance, for better or for worse, and now he hates me. And he is right to do so, to feel the way he feels.”

“You still blame yourself.”

“Because it  _ is _ my fault.”

“Yes.” Kai nodded “But the past is only this, the past. You need to move forward with your life, little brother. You both need it.”

And, oh, how easy was it to say that, Tetsurou almost laughed.

The preparations for the arranged union started as soon as the King’s Letter was sent to the people with Tetsurou and Daichi’s love story - of course, changing the betrayal to something more romantic and fantastic, with the Karasuno heir arriving and unmasking the person who tried to rip them apart and that they lived happily ever after until the war begin and Daichi had to be back to his own kingdom to save his people, leaving Tetsurou behind with the promise that they would be reunited once again.

Tetsurou laughed really hard and really loud as soon as he finished reading, in the privacy of his personal chambers, before starting to cry as hard and loud, clutching the paper against his chest and crumpling it. This was a cruel joke to him, making his heart ache so much more it was almost unbearable.

All those nights awake crying and pleading to the gods, all the unanswered letters, the days without eating, the sadness and guilt consuming his heart and his body… Everything he went through during his teenage years because of one stupid mistake… Is it for this? So he could build up some walls and protect himself from this? This fake marriage that’ll only bring him sorrow and unhappiness?

Will he be able to see his own love be his husband and yet not be able to touch him? Or even talk to him, to say he is sorry, regretful, remorseful, guily, apologetic, ashamed, and every other word he could use in this situation. He just wants to hug Daichi once more, saying he loves him with all the sincerity of his bruised heart.

And what if… What if Daichi not only doesn't forgive him but also becomes unfaithful to fulfill everything this arranged marriage couldn’t? Will Tetsurou survive this?

Only time could say. Only the gods could see.

Back in Karasuno’s desert roads silently riding back to the main city so he could sort everything out for his own marriage and new alliance with the Nekoma Kingdom that depended solely on him, on this, Daichi was having the same dark and hurtful thoughts and doubts - what if Tetsurou really didn’t love him? Will he be able to survive this marriage? Can he trust Tetsurou again?

(that’s easy,  _ no _ , he can’t trust him again so easily)

The wedding ceremony was approaching faster than they expected, each of the fiancés watching the days passing by warily, as if they were a prisoner waiting for his execution day. No one really wanted to pinpoint the gloomy aura around them, so they silently agreed not to talk about the ceremony in itself, nor the…  _ contract _ (could they really say this is a marriage?).

Daichi and his party departed from Karasuno the day before the ceremony, flying in small groups of crows so their city wouldn’t be unprotected and to surprise any enemy that thought they could easily conquer the main city and the kingdom in their absence. The carriages and horses were sent a week before them to wait a city from Nekoma and mislead everyone who could be following, and also to change the prince into royal clothes, bathe and arrive in a more pompous way that they were used to, all because of this union and its meaning.

“You should look more infatuated, Daichi.” his same aged friend and personal guard, Koushi, said “No one is going to believe you if you keep this stone face. And I heard they spread your love story through all the kingdom.”

Daichi groaned “Bless Tadashi for finding this output, but should it really be a union by marriage?”

“Aw, don’t be sour. Tadashi fought really hard for this alliance. And we all know you were once in love with the bastard prince. Or should I tell everyone about the night you two ran away from the summer festival in Karasuno?”

Daichi’s groan was louder now.

“Ah, Koushi… You shouldn’t torment Daichi so much.” their other friend, Asahi, says, voice shaking with nervousness “We are arriving soon.”

Nekoma hadn't changed much, it was the first thing in the prince’s mind as soon as his carriage passed through the tall gates, with their tall buildings in light colors with a lot of shining glasses and streets full of people and trading posts. Everything was brightly colorful, the complete opposite of Karasuno where all were black and tones of gray and white with a splash of orange here and there. It was always nice to come to this big city, much bigger than his, and delight himself with all the experiences and flavors they could offer.

As soon as he opened his carriage door and stepped out with a smile and a polite nod to the common people gathered to see him, a deep happy voice screeched his name and something solid hit him with enough force to make him stagger in place, worried about his knees giving out under such a heavy weight and his lungs as they were squeezed with force in the other’s embrace.

“Kou… tarou?” he managed to groan faintly, tapping his back in slight desperation, holding a relieved sigh when the other man let him go so he could talk (loud and bright as always) holding his shoulders in a tight grip. The now king didn’t change much, either, he noticed.

“It’s been so long since we last saw each other at that festival in your home. How are you? How many scars do you have? How’s the war?”

Daichi laughed softly “I missed you too, Koutarou. I am fine, what about you? I have some scars in my arms and back, and a big one on my leg. The war is tough that’s why we asked for help.” he whispered the last part so only the other could hear.

“I see.” he nodded “Well, come on I’ll show you what changed inside and you can see Tetsurou again.”

Koutarou  _ knows _ . He knows everything because Daichi sent him more than one letter talking about what he saw and what he felt, what he went through and all the bad and ugly feelings he experienced after having his first love betraying him. He knew this was a desperate arrangement so Karasuno wouldn’t lose an ally. But he is also bright and lovable, without an ounce of hate in his body and blood and probably believes they’ll reconcile with this marriage and Daichi doesn’t have the heart to say otherwise.

And, also, they need to act in front of everyone to make it believable.

Tetsurou and Daichi don't meet until the next day, both trying to mask their fears and nervousness from the other, awkwardly acting like they were a real couple in front of thousands of people they didn’t know, in front of their parents and kings and friends who all know their history, know that this is fake. They smile, trembling a little, and hold hands all the time while the priest talks and blesses them, asking the gods to see this union and protect them from all evil.

They whisper their own wishes - one asks for light and the other for forgiveness.

Vows were exchanged rather quickly, full of thinly masked sincerity, both their hearts aching while listening for the words. Tears were shed, but it wasn’t from happiness like everyone else thought it was. Tetsurou cleaned Daichi’s face with his thumb lovingly, a small soft smile on his lips and it hurt Daichi so much to see that, to know it was all an act to gain the trust of his people.

He wouldn’t let his heart be broken again by the same man, no. Daichi will toughen up, build thicker and taller walls around his heart, protect himself from something he already experienced. This was only an arrangement, a political union so Karasuno wouldn’t fall and he was going to make sure it continued that way.

He whispered a small sorry for his own heart before breathing deeply and smiling brightly as he held Tetsurou’s hand and entered the ballroom as a newly married couple.

They didn’t exchange a word outside the ceremony and the party.

(not that Tetsurou didn’t try, because he did, he just couldn’t form words)


	3. i run from you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm /so/ sorry for making wait so much ;;;;; i kinda messed up my schedule ;;;;;

Tetsurou wasn’t alone in his big bed, but he felt lonely.

This was not the first time he felt this way as he shared a bed (mostly not his own) and felt ultimately alone. He tried for many years to forget his feelings, to move on and find some new love, but it was always in vain. Tetsurou felt empty, forlorn, helpless, forsaken - he felt pity about himself, he was pitiful and pathetic, like the bastard he is.

He would never forget Daichi, much less stop loving him. It was simply impossible for him.

And now here he is, laying sideways on his bed trying and failing completely to ignore the other body in a position similar to his, back to back. His  _ husband _ didn’t utter a word to him since they left the party a few hours earlier so they could “enjoy their honeymoon”. What a joke, Tetsurou wanted to laugh at that lie - it was so obvious to him and his immediate family and close friends it was almost disgusting.

Honeymoon is just a silly pretty word. No one from the royalty really had enjoyed their own, always marrying someone they didn’t know or love, all because of politics. And he wasn’t different, feeling like trash when it was supposed to be the happiest night of his life - or so they say.

It was like everyone else told him, Tetsurou was always going to be someone pitiful, someone who didn’t deserve happiness or love.

On the other side of the bed, Daichi felt equally empty and lonely, staring straight out to the dark night sky through his  _ husband's  _ personal balcony’s glass door. What did he do to deserve so much pain? To deserve this much unhappiness? He held a sigh, trying very hard to not make a sound and fake his sleep so he wouldn’t have to interact with the other man.

Maybe he was the one to blame, he didn’t give the chance to Tetsurou to talk to him, not one second of his unsolicited attention outside the ceremony and party, not even a glance to his side, preferring to keep himself as far away from the Nekoma prince as possible. But… Tetsurou also didn’t even  _ try _ .

Well, Daichi won’t kneel for anything or anyone but his crown and king, he has his pride after all, he  _ is _ the first heir of this generation. And he has a war to win, with the help of his friends and  _ husband _ ’s army. He doesn’t need romance to win this, just more hands to throw an arrow or to swing a sword.

(a romance with a  _ betrayer _ was even less needed in his current life)

They fell asleep without realizing, each drowning in their own loud minds while forgetting what they dreamed when woken up a little before dawn to get ready.

Tetsurou’s clothes and few personal belongings were ready since yesterday morning, when the prince was running away from his own fiancée with the excuse that he had a lot to do before parting to Karasuno, and sent the biggest chests to his new house that same day. At least he will have his own room there, he won’t need to worry about faking his smile in the bedroom too and he will have a place to feel comfortable, to run away from his duties as the heir’s husband.

And now, here he is, sitting not so comfortably on his personal horse’s back with a set of red leather armor reserved for princes and kings only, together with his older brother in a leather set similar to his, but with more intricate details on his chest - as he is the crown prince -, and with Koutarou with his shiny metal gear with a owl on his chest. Kenma was silently seething behind him in his own battle leather gear, black with the kingdom’s symbol in his chest - the standard Nekoma armor. Daichi was a few meters away from them, talking to his friend to confirm the strategies for this travel party.

That day was going to be a long day, Tetsurou sighed.

It was tense, and not only about the unhappy union, no. They are all nervous about the war they are walking to, fastening their steps a little bit and looking around them every time to not be surprised by an enemy attack. Nobody really talked during the day, and they stopped at night to rest only because of the horses, but soon they would be at Karasuno borders and it was going to be more safe for the royalty as there were more soldiers.

Before this, though, there’s a crossing, a second road finished in the main one where they are currently treading to the crow’s kingdom, and this is where both Daichi and Tetsurou can breath more easily, less tense and maybe a bit more sincere - but also where it hurt the most, but none wanted to acknowledge this feeling.

“We part here, dear friends, I am sorry we can not reach Karasuno with you.” Daichi says with a tense smile, looking at all of them but his own  _ husband _ .

“I can go with you, Daichi. I know Koutarou is capable of protecting my brother, so I am not concerned.” Kai smiled back, nodding to his men to follow him “Please allow me, I won’t accept a negative answer.”

Tetsurou almost laughed at that. His brother, although calm and intelligent, was very stubborn.

“Fine.” Daichi chuckled “Tetsurou.” he looked at him, eyes harder and almost empty, nodding “I will see you at the castle.”

“Likewise, dear husband.” he nodded back, squeezing all his feelings away and hiding behind a taunting smirk. It clearly annoyed the other and that amused him.

They parted quickly after that - there isn’t much time to spend outside a battlefield. Tetsurou sighed heavily, hands clenching tightly around the leather horse strap instinctively. And from there on, the trip was made faster, less time resting so they could arrive without a scratch on the main city. The guards at the gates greeted them with relieved grins and shouts of welcome back and welcome cats and owls.

The new Karasuno prince felt like his presence held more significance than a mere spouse with a large army and excellent connections.

Somehow they all knew the heir was at a battle again instead of accompanying his own husband to his new home. Instead, what appeared to be young royalty was there to welcome them, someone he knew he never met before this day but seemed to be an important enough person to have people bow around him, a crow silently observing its surroundings from his thin shoulders. He was almost as tall as Tetsurou and Koutarou and smiled softly.

“I welcome you to Karasuno, dear friends and Tetsurou-sama.” he looked at all of them “My name is Tadashi and I take care of the city when the king and our heir aren’t home.”

“Thank you.” Tetsurou nodded.

“You look very young, Tadashi.” there was a low groan somewhere behind them, more than a dozen, and Tetsurou knew it came from the Fukurodani party, too used to Koutarou’s honesty and still feeling ashamed for their king’s lack of discreteness.

“Thank you, King Koutarou.” he giggled softly behind his hand. The crow in his shoulder caws once, claiming his attention for a moment before cooing and clicking, talking to its master “I see.” Tadashi murmurs, nodding “If you please follow me, King Koutarou and Tetsurou-sama, I will show you your chambers. The others will help your parties.”

Tetsurou looked at Kenma for a moment, the younger waving his hand dismissively in his direction before being approached by one of the guards. They walked in silence to the castle, people welcoming them with smiles and well wishes, sometimes stopping them to give them a little food, bowing to Tadashi everytime - almost like  _ he _ was the heir.

“Is this the crow who sent Daichi’s message about parting ways?” Tetsurou asked as soon as they passed through the castle’s large and tall wood doors inlaid with birds. The crow looked at him silently, as if it understood what he was saying.

And,  _ ah _ \- this is one of  _ those _ crows. Tetsurou nodded in their direction with a small polite smile and the shapeshifter bowed his head as elegantly as a crow could.

“Yes, he came just yesterday at dusk.”

“Does he have a name?”

Koutarou looked at him curiously.

“He does.” Tadashi nodded “Should I?” he chuckled, asking the bird on his shoulder, who nodded “His name is Ennoshita, he is very important for our army.” there was a sparkle on Tadashi’s dark eyes - ah, so this is one of their high rank, maybe a general.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Ennoshita-san.” he bowed politely.

“The same.” Koutarou smiled brightly “I hope we can train together.”

The crow cooed.

“He said with pleasure, King Koutarou.” Tadashi smiled.

“You can call me Koutarou, Tadashi!” the king said lively, making them all smile.

“Thank you for generosity.” he bowed slightly.

“And you can call me Tetsurou.”

Tadashi chuckled “Thank you, Tetsurou-san.”

Their chambers were far from each other, but in the same wing and Tetsurou tried hard to memorize all the paths they went through with Tadashi’s soft and clear explanations. Apparently, Daichi’s chambers were right beside his and they were both connected by double doors.

Tetsurou was left alone in his bedroom to settle, his clothes already in the wardrobe. He sat on the big and soft mattress and sighed loudly, looking at the not so fancy decorations and the dark colors all around him and thought - this was his new house, his new home. It was weird, it’s the first time in his life he would live somewhere else, in another kingdom he only visited once before this.

Will it  _ feel  _ like home to him?

Only time could tell, only the gods could say - and only both of them, only Daichi  _ and _ Tetsurou, could change the awkward and uncomfortable feelings, the bad blood, between them. Only them can forgive, but never forget.

There was nothing for him to do there but look around his new room, taking in all the little details and decorations, smiling at the little black car on his personal fireplace, the only other animal he ever saw in his chambers or the entire castle - the thought made him chuckle to himself. The bathroom was big, much more than the one at his chambers back in Nekoma Kingdom, worthy of the heir’s spouse, perhaps. He also has a balcony, big enough to have a small breakfast table and, unfortunately, connected with his  _ husband _ ’s chambers.

Oh, joy.

A knock on his door brought him back to reality.

“Tetsurou-sama, you are being called by the Second.”

And who would be this Second? Nevertheless, Tetsurou opened the door to follow the blond woman in full warrior armor. He knew everyone capable of holding a sword or an arrow is supposed to fight for their land in Karasuno, but it’s still surprising to him - although years and years being an unwanted bastard, Tetsurou knows how to control his expressions.

They ended up in the castle’s library, unusual for such meetings, but he said nothing. A group of young boys were by a long wooden table, talking between themselves in low voices. Tetsurou recognized Tadashi almost immediately, his soft smile the same as when he was talking to him and Koutarou earlier. They all looked at him at the same time, with the same intense gaze, when he approached.

“Tadashi-sama.” the woman bowed, before turning back and walking away.

“Tetsurou-san, I hope you settled well.” he smiled again, gesturing to him to come closer and to sit beside him.

“Yes, thank you. I quite like my chambers.” nodded with his own smile “I suppose I’m here to hear about the land and its rules? As I am married to your heir.”

“At least he’s smart enough.” one of the men said, fiddling with his glasses.

“Tsukki!” Tadashi almost pouted “Tetsurou-san, we need to tell you about one of our secrets so you can protect it in this war. Initially we weren’t supposed to, but Daichi-san confided in you years ago and never once you talked about it with someone else, so we all know you are of trust.”

“Thank you for your trust.” he bowed slightly, heart feeling so full. Daichi still trusts him, after all this time.

Tadashi bowed back and turned to his companions “You can go back.”

“I’ll be near, if you need me.” the one with dark hair says, bowing and following the other.

They were silent until the doors closed loudly, the sound echoing inside the library. It was weird how fast the air tensed when it happened, almost taking Tetsurou by surprise. Tadashi got up with a smile and took three books from the shelf behind them, putting it in front of the other on the table.

“Our history.” he tapped it with his index finger “Only royalty can read these books, so you need to take care of it.”

“I understand, thank you.” he nodded.

“You see, every time an heir is born, only four other children are born with them. They meant to be their companions, personal guards, advisors, friends and anything the heir needs. The bond between these five children is beyond comprehension and only them can feel it. Those two that were just now with us, they are few of those children, me and that woman who brought you here, too are part of this cluster.”

“That means…?”

“I am an heir too, after Daichi-san. And beyond those walls, nobody knows about it, and we want to keep that way as long as possible.”

Tetsurou blinked, confused for a moment “This explains the way the people treated you. Tadashi-sama.”

The prince chuckled “I am two years younger than Daichi-san, it was a bit surprising for everyone and it told us a great war was coming to our direction.”

“The gods needed an escape route if things came to an end, I see.” he nodded, looking to the ceiling “That’s why you are in charge of the city.”

“Indeed. But the plan is for Daichi and our king to come back and I will go to battle in their names. Not the first time we use this, it is necessary to not tire them any longer and to win this war.” Tadashi sighed “We appreciate your help in this dire times, Tetsurou-san.” he bowed slightly “Even if it cost your happiness, I am sorry.”

“Don’t be, please. I agreed to this, it is my own choice. And, really, there’s no happiness for me without him.” his smile was sad and tired “I tried to, but it’s impossible if it is not him.”

“I understand. I hope you can use this time to talk about your issues and find happiness again. Daichi-san has been unhappy since that day, too. You are both hurting from your past mistakes, maybe it is time to let go and move on. Forgive yourself so Daichi can forgive you.” his eyes were firm, almost pleading.

“We may not have the time…” Tetsurou sighed “I will try, thank you for this advice, I am glad we can count with you to help us.”

Tadashi kept talking about the rules and laws of Karasuno to him in an easy way to understand, teaching what he needed to know so he could match with Daichi and help him in the future when he would be the king. And Tetsurou listened avidly, committing it to his memory as he did with Nekoma’s own rules and laws so many years ago.

He felt, deep inside, that his role as the heir’s spouse was deeper than he initially thought - than anyone thought. And he hoped he could meet all the expectations. Even Daichi’s. He wants to be useful, afertall, so he wouldn’t be casted aside by the one he wanted the most.

For now, he needs to read all those books and know all he needs to so he could be the perfect spouse, the perfect  _ husband _ . And then, one day, they could look at each other without any resentment or ill feelings, with a sincere smile and no more regrets - and maybe they could love each other once again.

Outside the barriers, too far for them to feel each other, Daichi was sighing loudly as he sat on the soft grass, face sweaty and tainted with dried blood from companions and enemies. At least he didn’t hurt himself again in this battle, although he felt like he lost another one.

“A temporary ceasefire. What a joke.” the king sat beside him with a dry laugh “What do you think?”

“I think we should take this opportunity to regroup and come back harder with our allies.” he sighed once again, angrier “They are clearly pitying us, laughing at our faces as they constantly win in this war.”

“Don’t let your temper get out so suddenly. But you are right, we should grab this opportunity with a smile and come back ruthless.” the king tapped his shoulder, getting up “Let’s go back to Karasuno, Tadashi can help us do a better job at planning. And you need time alone with your husband, Daichi, you can’t run away forever.”

A grimace “I know.” and waved to the king walking away, sighing a moment later “I know this better than anyone.”


	4. i want to help you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh gods it took so long for me to write and finish this chapter, i'm so, so sorry!!!!
> 
> i really don't know how to manage my own schedule, i was so busy i couldn't even think about this story and then things happened irl and i was so emotionally stressed i could only cry and feel physical pain - it wasn't pretty at all
> 
> it is shorter than i wanted to and i'll try to write more next chapter ;;; hope you guys can enjoy it
> 
> i also edited all previous chapters, there's nothing new, i only corrected some mistakes i made

The first thing Tetsurou did on his first morning on Karasuno’s castle was to open the double doors that supposedly connect his bedroom to Daichi’s and was pleasantly surprised to see a big room with sofas and a small table for two, as well as a table to work or write letters. There was also a lounge sofa in front of the doors to the balcony, a perfect spot to read and where Tetsurou stayed most of the time, studying the books Tadashi gave him. He opened a door on the other side of the room and it opened to a second bedroom, Daichi’s bedroom, and after a moment of hesitation, he closed the doors behind him and fought the tears in his eyes.

Pushing those feelings to the back of his heart and mind, Tetsurou started to use this room a lot more, making himself comfortable on the lounge sofa everyday when he wasn’t needed somewhere.

And this is where Daichi found his  _ husband _ when he opened the doors to their chambers - Tetsurou was silently napping on the lounge sofa with an open book on his chest, the balcony doors open and letting the cold wind enter and he looked extremely peaceful with a blanket thrown on his legs and Daichi’s heart squeezed inside his chest.

Should he wake him? Or should he just go to his bedroom to bathe and ignore him? It would probably be awkward with Tetsurou awake, neither knowing how to act in front of the other, nor knowing how to address each other. Deciding against it, Daichi scratched his head with a silent sigh and went to his bedroom, closing his doors and starting to discard his clothes as he walked to his bathroom.

With a sigh, Tetsurou opened his eyes.

“So he is back.” he whispered, looking at the gray sky outside “May the gods help us both.”

He had heard the commotion through the wind and knew Karasuno and his brother were coming back after a peace treaty of temporary ceasefire - something he heard from Tadashi. Tetsurou probably should have been there to welcome everyone as the heir’s spouse, but he preferred to be in his chambers, away from everything for the time being. He just wanted some moments of peace himself before he had to start pretending all over again.

Closing the book and sitting up, he stretched his back and his arms, yawning loudly after spending so much time between napping and reading a novel written by a local he found in the library. He should get up and go back to his room before Daichi comes back from his, but he was feeling comfortable there and too lazy to move much.

Before he could decide what to do, laying down again with a content sigh, the doors to the hallway opened again.

“Oh.” a black haired woman said, blinking before stepping into the room “I am sorry, did I wake you?”

“Ah, no, I was already awake before you entered.” he sat up, adjusting the blanket on his lap.

“You must be Tetsurou-sama, pleasure to meet you. My name is Kiyoko and I am part of Daichi’s personal guard.”

They bowed to each other politely.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Kiyoko, and please, do drop the formalities.” he smiled.

“I am afraid that is impossible, Tetsurou-sama.” she smiled “Please, give this to our heir and make him treat his wounds as soon as possible. I will take my leave, have a nice afternoon.” she left a small tray on the work desk before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Wounds? Were Daichi wounded in battle? According to tales, it wouldn’t be the first time this happened and Tetsurou felt concerned for his husband. He got up rather quickly after that, leaving behind his blanket and book so he could approach the desk to see what he got there. Fortunately he knew how to treat wounds himself, as he never really bothered to go to the royal family’s doctor for most of his life.

Opening the door and looking side to side, he smiled at the guards and asked for hot water to clean the heir’s wounds. They were quickly to nod, gesturing to make him go back inside as one of them went to fetch a bowl.

The hardest part is yet to come.

Tetsurou makes quick work of taking his blanket and book back to his room, throwing it carelessly on the bed, before starting to fix the lounge sofa and bringing the tray to the coffee side table, opening the medicine bottle and sniffing a little. Now he just needed to wait for the water to arrive soon.

A stubborn Daichi was someone he knew how to work with, he did that for several years when they were still friends. Although that doesn’t mean Tetsurou wasn’t feeling hesitant, a small fear in the back of his mind reminding of what he lost and what he could probably lose.

“Ah, still here, I see.”

He froze as he heard that voice coming from somewhere behind him.

“Please sit here silently and let me treat your wounds.” Tetsurou said with a smile, turning to his  _ husband. _

Daichi looked at him with distrust, face hard as stone. The air was almost cackling with the hostil electricity between them, stuffy with the tension. The prince, then, sighed loudly, turning back without moving much before starting to walk to where Tetsurou was - as if he wanted to run from there.

When he sat on the lounge sofa, a soft knock sounded from the main entrance, Daichi commanding the person to enter and one of the guards doing a quick work of opening the door to let the servant boy take the bowl of warm water to where the couple was, nodding to them respectfully. Tetsurou softly thanked the boy, smiling and taking the bowl from him to put on the floor, before saying he would call for someone again to take it all back.

“Where is your wound?” he asked as soon as the guard closed the door.

Daichi sighed again, closing his eyes and lying down “Left leg. Arrow. Two days ago.”

It was all he needed to know.

Nodding, Tetsurou looked at him for a moment before his hands hovered over his leg and slowly pulled his trousers up to his middle thigh. Daichi looked bigger than he remembered from their teenage years, more muscular and serious, imposing even. More like an heir than he ever was. He was tougher too, harder and rougher, from countless battles he fought for his people,  _ with _ his people.

So different from the boy he loved. Still, his heart beated faster inside his chest, longing and hurting.

The wound wasn’t severe, but needed some cleaning and medicine, as the flesh around it was pinkish, indicating it was already with some degree of inflammation.

Daichi kept looking at him carefully cleaning his leg with slow and soft moviments, dipping the cloth in the warm water after some time. It looked, to him, that Tetsurou was more than used to treating someone like this and the heir couldn’t help but feel a ugly stab on his stomach at this thought. Of course Tetsurou would meet new people after him, they weren’t together anymore and it wasn’t like their relationship was some type of barrier, too.

Holding his temper, he closed his eyes and let himself be cleaned and bandaged with care that made him feel nostalgic and somewhat uncomfortable.

“Thank you.” he said when Tetsurou got up, drying his hands on his trousers.

“It’s fine. It’s the least I can do as your… spouse.” his smile trembled a little at the edges.

“Even so. Thank you.”

They nodded at each other, letting an uncomfortable moment pass by before the other prince started to move again, rearranging the medicines on the tray and walking to the door to fetch a guard. Daichi cleaned his throat as discreetly as possible, slowly getting up himself, minding his own wounded leg as he walked to the door.

He stopped, hesitating. Tetsurou smiled politely at the guards before nodding and coming back inside.

Cleaning his throat one more time, Daichi looked at his bedroom door before opening and closing his mouth, trying to say something. Tetsurou waited patiently, hands behind his back and a small, barely there, smile on his thin lips.

“We should walk together to supper tonight.” Daichi said at last, voice almost weak.

“Yes.” Tetsurou's smile grew a little “I’ll be ready for it soon.”

Daichi nodded, looking at him walk to his bedroom before calling him again, almost cursing himself “Don- don’t be too formal.” he nodded before escaping to his own room.

Tetsurou almost laughed out loud.

It’s so ridiculous the way they both treat each other, like strangers who didn’t know how to act or what to say to the person they just got married to. It was sad, depressing, gloomy. Would their relationship continue like this till the end of their time? Tetsurou will die from the suffocating tension between them soon, let alone in a few years - or worse, after the war.

A few hours later, they got out of their rooms at the exact same moment, making it uncomfortable while they nodded at each other from across their shared living space. After a hesitating second, they met in front of the double doors, neither knowing what to do, if they needed to knock on the door, hold hands or just walk side by side.

“Tetsurou.” he weakly called, battling against himself before raising his arm.

“Daichi.” he said back, voice shaking a little before slowly putting his hand on his husband’s elbow.

They sighed silently before Daichi knocked on the door, both forcing a smile on their shaking lips and straightening their backs. The warmth from this simple gesture was too much, they could feel each other like they haven’t for so long. Not even when they were on the bed in Nekoma it felt like this. It was as amazing as it was nostalgic. It made their hearts hurt and long a lot more.

Each step making it hotter and hotter, until they separated when sitting down on the long dining table full of familiar faces.

“Brother.” Kai raised his glass of wine to him, sitting right in front.

“Brother.” he smiled back, raising him empty glass.

Side conversations made the whole supper a cacophony of sounds, with laughs and clinkings. As it wasn’t a formal event, no one waited for the heir before beginning eating, the king’s face already dirty with food, and drinking and Tetsurou felt a little confused with it all, but schooled his face to not show.

“Tetsurou!” came the shout from the other end of the table, startling the prince a little while he drank a little of wine “I haven’t seen you since we arrived, where were you?”

With a weak smile, he cleaned his mouth before talking “I am sorry, but I fell asleep while reading and only woke up when Daichi came to our chambers.” his voice was apologetic but had a hint of amusement - only a few in that room could hear how it quivered just half a second when saying his husband’s name.

Daichi quickly gulped down his food, knowing what was going to happen.

“Is it right, Daichi?” the king laughed.

“Yes, but he was still asleep when I went to bath. He was awake when I went back.” he nodded with a side smile “His book was almost falling from his hand.”

They all laughed loudly, saying this and that about it and looking amused at the couple.

“Apparently, our dear Tetsurou is trying to read every book in our library.” the king laughed “He soon is going to know more about our kingdom than ourselves. You better make him your personal advisor, Daichi.”

The married couple let out a low forced laugh before looking at each other and quickly going back to their food.

Supper ran loudly after that, with the oldest in the table joking about marriage and their wives, while the king complained about liking battles more than being tied to someone. They tried to not pay much attention to that conversation, quietly eating on their own and not even looking at each other until they said their goodnights to everyone and went back together to their chambers, separating as soon as the doors closed behind them.

“Goodnight.” Tetsurou said hesitating, nodding at his husband before almost running to his bedroom.

Daichi looked almost surprised, staring at the closed door for a long moment before he went to his own room silently - and a little confused.

Tetsurou fell face down on his bed, screaming against it in a very childish way he couldn’t help but do it, releasing all of his tension in it. He felt so caged during dinner he didn’t even know what he was eating and what it tasted like - he was using all of his energy to not suddenly explode right there from sheer embarrassment and stress.

At least Daichi helped him by answering questions he didn’t want to listen to. It would be offending if he said he wasn’t there to welcome them back because he didn’t want to. Because he was afraid of their reaction (rejection) to him.

He was so afraid to take a wrong step. Tetsurou wants to be useful for his husband, very much, he doesn’t want to be an embarrassment for him or his family, a taint on their history. And even if they couldn’t live in harmony as a loving couple, they could have peace and contentment and that’s all Tetsurou could ask for.

With a loud and long sigh, he got up again, taking all of his clothes to change into his sleeping robes, blowing out the candles and settling under the warm fur blanket, closing his eyes and just waiting.

Before falling asleep, he silently prayed for good fortune. And to win the war.


End file.
